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Thursday, 21 February 2019 03:55

Dating While Fat

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Falling in love is a beautiful, transformative experience but dating while plus size can be daunting.

There are a lot of hurtful theories and truths to the experience. If you’re looking for love, don’t stop searching for it because you’re afraid of being rejected or getting called Fat.

Throughout your dating process, you’re going to encounter all type of people who have different opinions on accepting your Fatness. Don’t let fear stop you from your search. Here are a few fears you may experience when putting yourself out there and ways continue dating with an open heart when those fears pop up.

“Will I be rejected because I’m Fat?”

Yes, you will. But does it matter? No, it f**king doesn’t. Some people won’t want to date you for no other reason than you’re too Fat for their liking. Everyone has their own preferences - that’s fine. Don’t get hung up on the potential of being rejected because the people who are rejecting you aren’t worth your time. In the end, surround yourself with people who value your worth. Don’t accept anything less.

“Do I deserve love even though I am overweight?”

Yes. Your weight has nothing to do with whether or not you deserve love. Just because someone is ignorant enough to shut you down for your weight doesn’t mean everyone will be like that. It just stings more because we think, “Well, if I were skinny, they wouldn’t have rejected me.” Truth is, skinny people get rejected all the time. And just like a skinny person, you deserve love.

“I can’t do any better.”

Yes you can. If you’re dating someone who isn’t giving you and the love and respect you deserve, you don’t need that person in your life! You can do better. There are SO many people in this world. Even if you don’t find “The One”, work on loving yourself and maintaining your standards. Never settle because you think, “This person is the best it will get,” even when your gut tells you that they treat you like sh*t.

These thoughts can plague our dating experience. If you have these thoughts often enough, they may even prevent you from dating altogether. Don’t let it. Keep putting yourself out there.

You know what’s worse than someone rejecting you because they think you’re “too Fat”? Letting it stop you from searching for love. No matter someone else’s opinion, don’t give up on love. It doesn’t have to be romantic, it can be platonic or family love. Keep fighting to have love in your life.

This is a topic I’d like to discuss more in future articles. Comment down below if you’re interested in hearing about “Dating While Fat” and let me know what questions you have about it.

Read 817 times Last modified on Thursday, 21 February 2019 04:01
Cassandra Appleby

Cassandra Appleby is a marketing student at San Francisco State University, set to graduate in May. Being plus size her entire life, she is passionate about promoting body positivity and empowering others to find their confidence.

There is a serious problem with how the world values Fat People.

A Fat Girl’s Guide is a series of articles aimed toward breaking negative stereotypes surrounding fatness. “Fat” is a word riddled with pain, bias, and stereotypes. Cassandra’s goal is to break these connotations into easily digestible, bite-size chunks and hopefully make you laugh along the way.

What does it mean to be a Fat Girl? Well, it means that you don’t have to be a “girl” at all. These articles represent things fellow Fat Girls, Boys, Non-Binaries, Transsexuals, and the like go through.

A Fat Girl is…
• Anyone who has been marginalized for their size (regardless of gender, sexuality, race, age, disability – you get the picture).
• Anyone who has been told they are not valuable because of their appearance.
• Anyone who is tired of following society’s rules on how we should look, act, perform, and exist in this world.

How does Cassandra navigate being a Fat Girl in one of the most vain cities in the world? Well, read on.

Connect with Cassandra

www.cassandraappleby.com  |  instagram.com/cassandraappleby  |   twitter.com/cassandrappleby

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1 comment

  • Comment Link Odie Thursday, 04 April 2019 02:30 posted by Odie

    This is something I'm dealing with now. I have Bipolar Disorder and the medication I've been on for about 12 years caused me to gain a lot of weight. It also took away my libido. Then this year my libido suddenly returned with a vengeance and for the first time in a very long time I'm considering getting back into dating. But I don't feel attractive in this body and I find it very hard to believe anyone else would find it attractive either. I'm told I'm very pretty but I haven't been considered desirable since I gained the weight (so I believe). In fact, being fat means being invisible to men, in my experience. I am really afraid of mean comments and rejection.


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