Monday, 26 November 2012 02:15

Ask Maddisen >> The Reward of Rough Times

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Dear Maddisen:
I’m having a really rough time. And I’m having an equally tough time staying positive and trusting that I can make certain things in my life better. How do you stay positive when things are not going well?  Thanks, JS

Dear JS,
Thank you for your honesty, and relevant question. I’m sure many of us can relate to what you’re expressing here, I know I can. And I’d like to share an approach that might help.

Life is about experience, and we have a very natural tendency to categorize and judge our experiences as good or bad. I believe that all experiences are relevant, and it is always up to the individual to figure out the relevancy.  Painful or unpleasant experiences are usually much harder to look at as having any relevancy or purpose, however, they might actually contribute the most to our positive growth, reward, and fulfillment.

As much as we may try to elevate or separate ourselves from the forces of nature, the truth is – we humans are part of nature. And just as great mountains are formed by the adverse and favorable conditions of nature, so are humans formed by our adverse and favorable life experiences.  However, we have the advantage of a brain/mind and the power and freedom to choose how we think, feel, and respond to our experiences – the good and the bad ones.

Abraham-Hicks refers to life’s adverse experiences as “contrast”, and suggests that our job is to use the contrast to see and get clear on what we don’t want, so that we can then define, focus on, and manifest what we DO WANT.

Our Brain Is Our Friend
But the key during this whole process of moving through contrasting or negative experiences – is keeping our thoughts and feelings focused on the positive outcome or result that WE WANT.  When we stay focused on what we want, and remain focused on how what we want will feel – then we line up with the thoughts and feelings associated with having the desired experience, thus allowing the birth of the desired experience.

This is also referred to as the law of attraction – the belief that like attracts like, and that by focusing on positive or negative thoughts, one can manifest positive or negative experiences. Obviously, most of us prefer positive experiences, so the key, especially during rough times, is to stay focused on the desired experience and the positive feelings that accompany the desired experience.

This might take practice, but it’s what our brain is for – so let’s start using our brain/thoughts to think about our positive, desired experiences – especially during rough times.

How to Stay Positive During a Rough Time
Take 10 minutes to listen to this YouTube recording of Esther and Abraham Hicks speaking about contrast, and specifically how to stay positive and focused on the desired results during a bad or rough time.

Contrast: Getting Desires Manifested More Easily -

And so dear JS and all my readers, knowing that adversity or contrast is meant to serve us and help us define what we DO want in life, let us start using the rough times as an opportunity to focus on the positive feelings that come with the positive experiences we truly want to be having.

I understand that holding positive thoughts and feelings during prolonged tough times may not always be as simple as it sounds. If so, follow these tips:

  1. Tap into and really connect with how much you care, how much you care about your well being and living well, and the well being of all life. Feel how deeply you want to be doing well in all areas of your life. Know that you can at least trust how much you care, you can trust that you want to stay positively focused, and you can trust that you want to make certain things in your life better.
  2. Look at the contrast you are currently dealing with, and ponder how this undesired situation is helping you to define what you do want. Before you go to sleep each night, ask for clarity about what you want and how to get it, and then be aware of 'answers' that come to you in dreams or after you awake.
  3. Write down what you want as clear intentions, using "I am" to start each intention. Read your intentions daily, and even speak them aloud. This may help you to be in a more steady and frequent positive state, and will move all 'creating' systems in the direction of your true desires.

May we remember these facts – that life is for living, and that our brains are programmed to support life – so let’s use our love for life and our thoughts in support of the positive and meaningful lives we came here to experience, and enjoy.

Your Life Coach,

Copyright 2012 Maddisen K. Krown M.A.

Read 2832 times Last modified on Monday, 26 November 2012 19:13
Maddisen Krown

Maddisen K. Krown, M.A. is a Life Coach, Columnist, and Speaker who works with individuals and groups throughout the U.S. and the world. She supports the wholeness and well being of her clients, guiding them into the fuller purpose and quality of life that calls them.

Maddisen holds a Master’s degree in Counseling Psychology from the University of Santa Monica, and is a graduate of the ICF accredited Coach for Life program. She also holds a B.S. in English/Technical Writing & Computer Science. In addition to the NoHo Arts District News, Maddisen writes for The Huffington Post. Based in Los Angeles, she donates a substantial amount of her time in service as a counseling facilitator in her community. Contact her at and visit her website at

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