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The Ten Most Common Mistakes Fiction Writers Make

Author Jill Nagle is founder and principal of GetPublished, http://www.getpublished.com , which provides coaching, consulting, ghostwriting, classes and do-it-yourself products to emerging and published authors. Her most recent book is How to Find An Agent Who Can Sell Your Book for Top Dollar  This article Copyright 2001 by Don Gerrard

Over my years of working as an editor, I’ve noticed that many unpublished novelists, even those who have mastered the mechanics of grammar, often make basic conceptual mistakes in their work-mistakes that, while subtle, can get the work rejected.

I believe those writers do not realize that, in order to get published, certain rules must be followed. Unfortunately, agents and editors are on the lookout for these common violations and often, without telling you, use them as the basis for sending their dreaded rejection notices.

I hope that by pointing out the most commonly-encountered problems, I can persuade you to root them out of your manuscript. Remember, in today’s highly-competitive marketplace you may get only one chance to submit.

Common Mistake #1. The derivative story idea.

A derivative story idea is one that has been published before. For example: “Arab terrorists hijack a jetliner and demand that their extremist leader be released or they will begin killing hostages.” Have we heard this one before, or what? Would anybody actually write such a story today? You’d be surprised.

During my years as an agent I rejected more manuscripts for lack of original story idea than for any other single reason. Other agents and editors probably experience the same thing. To restate this rule: It is absolutely essential that you do not embark on writing your novel until you are certain that your story idea has not already been published. Otherwise, you are going to waste time in a big way, and end up frustrated.

What do I mean by an original story idea? Any novel based on an idea that has not been published before, or which has not been overdone on television, or in tabloids or magazines, so that the public is already tired of it, can be considered to be original.

I mean, it’s not fair, is it? Homer, Beowulf and Chaucer had it easy-those guys could write about anything they wanted because just about nothing was taken; nothing had been done. But today, just about everything appears to have been done-Gone With The Wind, War And Peace-everything. Serious problem. It’s difficult to come up with a good original idea, and very disheartening to discover that your idea already has been published.

To avoid this scenario, first, identify the genre you are writing in-mystery, romance, action-adventure, fantasy, legal thriller, medical thriller, or sci-fi thriller, etc. Second, read all the novels in print in that genre and write down the story concept in each. Wow! Overwhelming. But that’s really the only way to be sure, isn’t it? You have to become familiar with the novels already published in your field of interest. Probably you already know quite a few of them-reading them is how you became interested in writing in the first place, right?

On second thought, it still sounds like a big job. I know. But really, if you’re not willing to invest the time to do your research, you cannot be serious about your work as a novelist, can you?

Well, there are a few shortcuts which might help. First, contact several friends who are avid readers of novels in your chosen field. Tell them your story idea, and ask your friends whether they have ever read a novel based on a similar idea. Be sure to engage them in a serious, detailed discussion about this, and enlist their help to track down most if not all of the recent novels that they think might be close. Begin compiling a list of the most prominent authors and the titles they have published. See how many you and your friends can think of. By doing this, you are starting to map the territory.

Second, visit a well-stocked bookstore with your trusty pad of paper or palm device in hand. Locate the various fiction sections. Now try to find all the novels in your genre-every title the store carries of that type. This will probably be a number of shelves’ worth under some section heading such as “mystery.”

Check off the authors’ names and titles that you find there against your existing list, and add all the authors and titles not yet on your list. For some genres this will be a small job; for others such as mystery it will be huge. In addition to the titles you find on the shelves, there will probably be other titles by many authors that the store does not currently stock. Usually a fairly complete list of an author’s titles will be published in a list in the front of her or his most recent book. Compile a complete list of each author’s works. Once you do this for most of the books you find, you are beginning to get the problem surrounded. Now it’s time to attack.

Find a comfortable chair in the bookstore and systematically read the back cover blurbs of every book you have found. You may be able to tell, just from the blurb, what the story idea is. If so, write down on your pad, opposite that title, a one sentence statement of the story idea. If it comes out in two sentences, that’s okay, but the more you can condense it without losing accuracy the better. (P.S.-a side benefit of this exercise is to learn how to write tight little story ideas, which will be useful later in framing a powerful synopsis for submission or in-person pitches).

If you cannot determine the story idea from the back cover blurb, try reading the first chapter. If you are still not sure, read the last chapter. Usually the first or second chapters will pose the novel’s story question and the last chapter will answer it. Still not sure? Well, you’re in trouble. Try reading the first page of all the rest of the chapters in sequence until you get the concept. Hopefully somewhere during this investigation, the story idea will become clear and you can return that book to the shelf. Now go on to the next title.

A typical well-expressed story idea might be: “Dinosaurs get out of their cages and attack the people who have come to view them (Jurassic Park).” Try to keep it simple like this, but specific enough that you can tell what the story is when you read over it later.

Probably in one or two afternoons, depending on how widely you have already read in your chosen genre, and how big this genre is, you will be able to work completely through your list. Once you have done so, you should have the question of your novel’s originality accurately answered. In addition, you should have a much more detailed mental map of the field in which you have chosen to write. You have surveyed the competition, and no doubt found many interesting novels along the way. And, if you have found no story idea similar to yours, you may safely proceed to write your novel.

During this process, you might find one or more novels whose story ideas are pretty similar to yours. Don’t despair! You can make good use of this situation. First, while holding one of these similar novels in your hand, ask yourself, Is this an interesting book? From just looking at the cover (which presumably expresses the story idea in words and pictures) would you expect this book to be successful?” Answer honestly and you will be to some extent describing the fate of your own novel, once it is written. What does this answer tell you? Second, ask yourself, What can I learn from this competing novel that will make mine better? Maybe you should buy and read this book.

But in addition, it wouldn’t hurt to take your list and this new-found knowledge back to your novel-reading friends for another in-depth discussion. Mention each title that seemed similar to your idea to your friends and see if the name jogs their memory and elicits any useful information they may have overlooked. Notice too that as a result of this field trip to your local bookstore(s), you now know a lot more about your chosen writing field. By becoming familiar with the prominent books in your genre, you have gained valuable knowledge you didn’t know you needed. I don’t know of any writer who didn’t admit to learning many important and unexpected things by completing this exercise.

Finally, a third possibility: call your library and ask for help from a sympathetic librarian or research person. (By the way, if you can find such a person, marry them.)

But what do you do if you find one or more published works with a story idea that is very similar to yours? And when you read parts of it, you realize that you couldn’t have written it better. Now what? This can pose a serious problem. The more work you have already put into your manuscript before making this discovery, the more serious the problem you have. If you have already written a lot of your novel, here’s how I would proceed.

First, take a deep breath. Don’t jump. Second, read the offending book from cover to cover to see how that author has handled your story idea. You will probably get some new ideas while reading, so make notes as you go. When you finish that book, think seriously about it. Ask yourself whether your novel is sufficiently different from the published one, or whether you need to make major changes in your work.

Maybe you will decide that the two books are not very similar after all, so you take a chance and continue writing your novel. Or you might decide that you need to make big changes and, from the notes you have taken, can see in which direction to proceed. Why not look on the bright side: maybe these changes will improve your novel!

If you decide that changes are in order, you might console yourself with the thought that writing is really just rewriting and rewriting anyway. Yeah, that doesn’t really console me either. Before you actually begin any work, try to map out the necessary changes and think through just how they would impact your book. Anything you could think of that would shorten the revision process would be welcome. In other words, think hard and act slowly. But in this situation, sooner or later you will have to bite the bullet and revise your manuscript. Knowing what I know about today’s marketplace, I would not risk catching a “derivative” label by failing to make changes. This might doom my work to the rejection pile. Good luck!

Common Mistake #2. Talking heads.

“Talking heads” are characters who exchange dialogue on the pages of your novel without giving the reader a clue as to their environment, the objects in it, the characters’ physical descriptions, or their body movements. In fact, the manuscript pages on which the dialogue appears look like the pages of a screenplay. There’s nothing on them except the dialogue. As a result, it is almost impossible for the reader to tell one character from another. Once you begin to read, the conversation loses all meaning. All the characters’ interactions seem to do is advance the plot so that the story can proceed from point A to point B by the end of the scene.

Talking heads appear far too frequently in new writers’ manuscripts. Their characters seem to float freely in the void, occupying some undefined or partly-finished space. We learn nothing about these phantoms except what they say to each other: no physical descriptions, no past, no families, no social connections and no emotional lives. They flit like shadows out of context over the pages of the manuscript. Talking heads are a sure sign of improperly-created characters and are almost guaranteed to buy their author a rejection ticket.

You can avoid talking heads by creating well-developed, believable characters. Try reading a good book on character development, such as Linda Seger’s Creating Unforgettable Characters (link to purchase on amazon).

“But hey,” you say. “I’m not writing a character-driven novel. My story is plot driven.” Okay. You can give that a try. But while you are at it, read some of Michael Crichton’s thrillers to learn how to keep talking heads out of your plot-driven novel. The truth is, editors like well-made, believable and memorable characters because they know that’s what their consumers favor, as well.

Novels with well-made, believable and memorable characters in them are all over your favorite bookstore. My huge list includes the following contemporary novels: the science thriller Los Alamos by Joseph Kanon, the fantasy novels of Laurell K. Hamilton, the mysteries of John Sandford, the legal thrillers of Scott Turow, and the World War 2 novels of Douglas Reeman. Any of these works can teach you a great deal about character-building. I prefer to recommend powerful, successful non-literary novels but I’m sure you will have your own list. Now is a good time to put it to use. Read with the attitude “How did she do that?” and learn.
 
Common Mistake #3. The wandering point of view.

Every scene in your novel needs certain basic structural elements in order to function successfully. Commonly-used structural elements include chronology, who-what-where, and point of view. Chronology means keeping the action straightforward and, when jumping into backstory, creating flashbacks, or otherwise moving back and forth in time, keeping your reader informed of the changes so that she won’t get lost.

Who-what-where means informing the reader about the narrative basics: who the characters are, where they are, and what they are doing. This is all rudimentary stuff but you would be surprised how often one or more of these basic elements gets violated.

Point of view (abbreviated pov) - the last structural element - must operate according to certain rules too. If you are an unpublished writer, these rules will be more strictly enforced on your work than they might be on a name-brand author’s, so don’t bother complaining about the differential treatment. That’s one of the rules too: the published [folks instead of guys, so as to include women] get to do it differently than you do!

The basic rule on point of view is this: every scene-or chapter if your novel is not broken into scenes-must have one and only one pov character. A pov character in first person narration is the only character in the novel allowed to show us the world in the story, and the only character allowed to share with us her or his thoughts, feelings, hopes and dreams.

This restriction should make it easy but sometimes a writer can’t figure out how to get his or her pov character to report another character expressing emotional distress, or some other emotion, so they write “At that moment, Sue Person felt terrible” when Sue is not the pov character. Un-un-un-uh. Can’t do that.

In third person narration any number of characters can tell us these intimate things about themselves - but only one at a time - either one per scene if there are scenes, or one per chapter. You cannot jump back and forth between two characters’ thoughts or feelings in the same scene. This violation of the rules is considered amateurish writing. It will get you rejected.

Before you begin writing your novel, decide who the pov characters will be, then make a list of them. These are the only characters in your novel who can think and feel before our eyes. And they are the only characters who can tell us what their world is like. You create structure for the reader by making sure that every scene is narrated through the eyes of one, and only one, character at a time - the pov character.

It’s usually a good idea in your first novel to keep it simple. Limit the possibility complexity; allow yourself only one pov character per chapter. Later, when you feel ready to attempt a more complex novel, you can try moving back and forth between pov characters within a chapter - by giving each one their own scene. To indicate a change of scene within a chapter, simply skip a line, then center three asterisks on the next line, and skip another line. Now you are in a new scene (which may be the same actors in the same environment as before but now we see those characters and experience that environment through a new character’s eyes).

This is not a difficult rule to follow but it is often and easily violated. Read through your manuscript looking for sentences that tell the reader what some non-pov character is thinking or feeling. Those sentences are the pov violations.

Common Mistake #4. Failing to create visualizable scenes.

When a reader reads your novel, they take the words you write and make movies out of them - little scenes and images and thoughts and feelings which play in their heads. That’s what reading is. Making little mind movies out of the words on a page. But if a reader cannot recreate in his or her own mind the scene you saw in yours when you wrote it, they will lose interest and probably lose your book as well. If an agent has this problem, they will definitely reject your manuscript.

It is important to create and maintain good visual scenes, and good continuity between scenes. This puts the characters in a specific and recognizable environment from moment to moment throughout the novel. Creating good visualizable scenes means describing the location your characters are occupying as well as maintaining visual continuity so that the reader does not get lost due to a sudden shift in locale. You can explore this important idea further by reading Al Zuckerman’s comments on the importance of creating great scenes, which he calls the “exotic setting” in his important book, Writing the Blockbuster Novel.

It is essential to fill your scenes with visual details and then have your characters use them constantly-just as people do in daily life. To give a simple example, if your character picks up a cup of coffee at the beginning of a scene, I do not want to read about her opening the door with that same hand a few pages later. If I have to wonder “Where did her coffee cup go?” I will be pulled from your story.

In addition, if your characters move or react bodily to events and to other characters when they talk, and if they use the objects in their environment, the reader will be able to make detailed (and much more enjoyable) mind movies as they read. Their reading experience, and the world of words you have created, will seem much more interesting and rich. When I find a novel that does this, you can’t tear me away.

The most common complaint I hear about writing detailed descriptions and filling the characters’ world with useable objects is that this will “slow the pace of my novel.” I have news for those folks: Ain’t so. Not if they do it right.

Published authors who are masters of descriptive scenes that do not slow their story’s pace include John Sandford (the Prey series), Jack Higgins (this writer’s work is uneven but The Eagle Has Landed and Thunder Point are very good), and Laurell K. Hamilton, whose vampire horror novels are filled with objects that are used by her characters. Whatever type of novel you are writing, you can definitely learn more about maintaining visual continuity, and enriching your novels, from these masters.
 
Common Mistake #5. Failing to stick to one genre throughout the book.

I sometimes read manuscripts in which different chapters seem to be written in entirely different genres. Recently I read one in which the first chapter was a pretty good action-adventure rescue of several Americans from torture at the hands of rogue Afghanis.

Then the next chapter was set in Washington D.C. where an important aid to the President was discovered dead under mysterious circumstances. “Oh,” I said, “I was wrong about the first chapter. I typed the novel too quickly. It’s really a political thriller.” And on to the third chapter, which began with a detailed family genealogy and was written in an epic, James Michener-like structure. Three chapters, three different writing styles, and the opening chapters for three different genres-but all in the same novel.

Yes, I know, You would never do that. I include this no-no for the other writers-just to remind them that any genre they choose to write in operates according to certain rules, and they need [no fooling] to discover what those rules are. What’s the best way to do that? Are they written in a book somewhere? Yes, they are. The rules for each genre are written in all the pages of all the novels published in that genre. All you have to do is read all those books, and you will definitely know what the rules for their creation are.
 

Common Mistake #6. Lack of sub-themes, or sub-themes not developed.

Sub-themes are the minor themes that are inevitably present in a novel which either support or counterpoint the main theme. In many of the manuscripts I have read recently, the sub-themes are dormant; they are just lying there, waiting to be developed.

So what is a sub-theme, really? How would I know it if I ran across one? Well, in a murder mystery in which the antagonist (the bad guy) is having trouble with women, you might also show the good guy (the protagonist P.I.) struggling with her boyfriend or spouse, and a beat cop having a similar difficulty, which we only discover when he and the protagonist share a doughnut break at a crime scene. Don’t think too much of that idea? Write your own, but I hope you get my message.

A theme is an action line in your story which the major characters follow and which can be reflected (mirrored or echoed) as a sub-theme by some of the more minor characters. Sub-themes can be obvious or subtle, and can repeat or contradict a more major theme in the story. If the main theme is your novel’s message to the reader, your sub-themes can reinforce, moderate or control your main theme. [An example or two?] Play with this element and see what can happen.

Why add sub-themes to your novel anyway? Sub-themes enriched your story, present new story opportunities, and please readers and editors. They also add both literal and symbolic richness to the story.
 
Common Mistake #7. Failing to sustain an emotional pull that holds the reader.

I read many novel manuscripts which open with a powerful chapter, then fall into disarray in chapter two. It’s as though the writer has thrown out his or her hook, snared me, and then did not know what to do next. Consequently I wriggled off the hook, and her manuscript was out the door.

[You mean with *no* place to go next? Maybe eliminate double negative for clarity? There are many ways to write a first chapter such that it doesn’t leave you with any place to go next.] For example, a mainstream, character-driven novel might open with a powerful scene featuring an otherwise minor character, and then move to your opening scene with the protagonist (or antagonist in chapter two). This gives you two big scenes in a row, and you should be off and running. You will have dodged those second chapter blues.

Thrillers, and other genre novels, often open with an action scene that showcases the protagonist at work doing what she does best. If she’s a squad car cop, open chapter one with her chasing a bad guy at 80 mph down the highway, and show her cleverly trapping the bad guy in his car, by ramming him against the side of a building, which she was forced to do because he was about to run over a couple of children. This “all in a day’s work” type of chapter will get your novel off to a fast start, introduce the protagonist and set you up for a strong chapter two featuring who? That’s right, the antagonist. In other words, alternate the characters in the first couple of chapters and you should be off and running.

Yes but-what if your novel has to feature the protagonist right through chapters one to four? What can you do in that case? If you even suspect that you might have let your reader swim away after a great hook in chapter one, and you are not sure what to do about it, try this. Dig through your notes and find your plot sheet-that piece of paper on which you plotted your novel. What? Never made a plot sheet? Never plotted? No prob. Never too late.

Here we go. Dig out a blank sheet of paper and briefly plot your novel. That is, list all the chapter numbers or titles down the left side of the paper, leaving room to write two or three sentences under each title. Then, to the right of that list, under its heading, write a sentence or two describing what happens in each chapter. When you finish with this, you will have a rough outline of the action in your novel.

Now read over the one-sentence descriptions you have written for each chapter. Ask yourself, “Is this chapter as intense as it could be?” Again, “Are these chapters in the right order?” “Would my story be stronger if I moved chapter 3 ahead of chapter 2?” And question yourself: “Does chapter 6 have to appear this early in the story?” If you are not sure in what order the chapters might be strongest, clear some space on your living room floor and lay the first page of each chapter down on it, in order, one after the other.

Beginning with chapter 1, skim read all the first pages now on the floor, trying to feel the full emotional impact of each one. After working this exercise, does a different order of chapters suggest itself to you? If so, swap the chapters around, then reread the first pages again. Is the story more intense now? Less intense? Does this reading suggest other re-arranging ideas?

If so, make ‘em and repeat this process. When you cannot see any way to strengthen the novel further by this technique, then maybe it’s ready to go to your test readers.

What you are looking for from these exercises is a way to set a good hook and then keep it in place throughout your story, whatever the pace of the work. Try to make each chapter intense and uniformly strong as all the others. Depending on the type of novel you are writing, you may want to alternate intense chapters with relief chapters, just to give the reader a little rest. If you can, as the novel proceeds, try in general to ratchet up the pressure.
 
Common Mistake #8. Writing an unbelievable or unsatisfying ending.

When a potential reader first picks up your book and tentatively flips through the pages, they are deciding whether to invest their precious time in your story. If you hook them and they begin reading, your next job is to keep them turning the pages right through to the end. I love it when a test reader tells me “Your novel made me late for work!”

Okay, so the reader is hooked and committed to read to the end. Good-oh. But wait! Your job is not quite over. In order for the reader to put your book down with a satisfied sigh and be willing to recommend it to a friend, you have to supply a satisfying ending. This means that the end must justify all the time that reader has already invested in your story.

What constitutes a satisfying ending? Well, several things have to happen. All the little loose ends must be tied up; the writer cannot leave obvious or burning questions unanswered. Also, if there are good guys, the good guys must win and the bad guys must lose. Then too, all the sub-themes must be resolved. If there was a love story, the lovers must be united in some way. And last but by no means least, the story question-that question which was posed by the story’s initial setup, and which hooked the reader in the first place-must be answered.

I have read thriller manuscripts in which so much energy had been put into developing a complex story and supplying all the right twists and turns that the ending, in trying to resolve everything, was tiring to read. I have read some novel manuscripts in which the ending seemed confused, or weak, like it was an afterthought. I have read other novel manuscripts in which the ending seemed to belong to a different book altogether. And I have read still other novel manuscripts in which the ending read like the opening chapter of the sequel, and seemed uninterested in bringing the story to a satisfying conclusion.

Think about the ending to your novel. Does it resolve everything? Is it too complex? Too simple? Confusing? Unrelated to the story? Remember the basic rule: try to leave the reader so satisfied that she will recommend your novel to someone else.
 
Common Mistake #9. Writer’s unique voice is undeveloped.

Probably the most universally-encountered problem I have seen over the years is a fairly subtle one: any novel manuscript I might choose to read, both narrative passages and dialogue, sounds just like the next one on the slush pile. All unpublished manuscripts tend to employ the same speech rhythms in the dialogue, the same phrasing structure in the sentences, and this rhythm and that structure are those most commonly found in non-fiction books. They are the rhythm and structure of human thought, rather than human drama. This is a subtle but important distinction.

A writer’s voice should be a signature, a recognizable entity, just like a singer’s voice. I hear four bars and I know it’s Rod Stewart. He’s instantly recognizable to me. It takes time and it takes work but you can develop your writer’s voice too. Start telling yourself right now that you need a writer’s voice. Put it into your consciousness that you need to develop a signature voice, one your readers will recognize. Put your psyche to work on the problem.

Don’t think that a writer’s voice is a characteristic only of the more literary novels. Read any John Sandford Prey series crime novel to disavow yourself of that notion. Sandford writes about high crimes and misdemeanors with style and voice. And his novels are perennial New York Times best-sellers.

Here’s an exercise which might help you develop your writer’s voice. Step One, choose one or more scenes from your current novel which you will rewrite in the first person. This is because first person is an easier structure within which to develop a voice, since the entire novel must come from one character’s point of view.

Step Two, begin by instilling your first person protagonist with a sarcastic tone. For some reason, sarcasm comes easy to Americans. Notice the perpetual sarcasm in the actor Bruce Willis’ voice, and in President George W. Bush’s smirk. And a number of successful first person novel protagonists are sarcastic private eyes. You can use one of them for a model.

Step Three, choose one scene from your novel and rewrite it so that sarcasm is literally dripping from your narrator’s mouth. Try to add a sarcastic tone to your narrator’s dialogue without changing the dialogue of any of the other characters in the scene. This juxtaposition should break up the speech patterns you have unconsciously been using and let you see how you can use dialogue with greater variety.

Once you have rewritten one or more scenes in sarcastic first person, you should begin to get the hang of varying your characters’ written speech patterns. If your novel is actually written in third person, you will want to have a unique speech pattern for each major character as well as one for the omniscient narrator if that voice is separate from the protagonist’s. The best way to develop each character’s unique voice is to develop each character. I refer you again to Linda Seger’s Creating Unforgettable Characters. The more individualized each character is, the more unique their speech and thought patterns.

The best way I know to develop a narrator’s voice is to visualize each aspect of your chosen narration in great detail, then write the narration as a series of sentence fragments. Once all the descriptive fragments are in, copy the scene into four separate files and try fleshing out the fragments into sentences four different ways. Stay alert to what emerges.

The traditional way to learn voice is to study the voice of successfully published authors and ask yourself - how did she do that? If you are persistent and stay alert, you will begin to give yourself answers, answers that will let your own voice begin to emerge.
 
Common Mistake #10. Holding incorrect assumptions about the business of writing novels:

When you accurately understand the simple but unyielding truths that structure the book business, your chances of success will increase. Here are some of the pervasive incorrect assumptions I have run into.
 
  1. That writing a novel is easy.
  2. That no one has ever written a novel in any way remotely like yours.
  3. That once you have completed a first draft, the writing is done, or nearly done.
  4. That because you are writing a plot-driven novel, no characterization is necessary
  5. That you can build believable characters just by casual observation of people, and that no character creation or detailed character research is necessary
  6. That the big publishing houses are just waiting to receive your manuscript, and shower you with fame and money
  7. That you know more than the professionals who work in the business.

If a little voice tells you that the novel is not ready to go, but you can’t find a way to improve it further, then you need either an objective set of test readers to give you impersonal feedback, or a good book doctor. Don’t risk making submissions until you feel absolutely solid in your bones about every part of your work. Good luck!